Purpose – Delight 21

This morning I wrote this quote in my journal:

“Your purpose is not the thing you do. It is the thing that happens to others when you do what you do.” ­– Dr. Caroline Leaf

These words quieted something noisy rattling around in my head. I know that writing is my purpose, but I have long struggled with what form my writing life should take. What does it mean that writing is my purpose? Should I be posting here more? Is it enough that I write in my journal and find comfort and relief in that practice? Is my letter writing a component of this purpose I’m trying to fulfill? Am I doing enough writing and the ‘right kind of writing’ to fulfill my purpose? Do I really have a book in me? If so, WHAT BOOK IS THAT?!?

These questions lead me to another beautiful quote:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

This month-long project has been a beautiful companion as I live with my writing questions.

A few hours after I copied the quote into my journal, I got a text from a friend. She spent her lunch hour eating in her car and watching a bird and its antics before it flew away. She said this moment reminded her of my search for delights, so she went to my website to catch up on my essays.

In this text, she also told me that my words and stories were a comfort, and she thanked me for putting my writing out into the world.

I immediately sent her a screen shot of the quote in my journal and told her that her text had proved this quote to be true. I thanked her for sharing her story. We both had tears in our eyes and felt the present of the divine very close—even via text message.

There is delight (and relief) in being reminded that I’m on the right path and to keep forging ahead. To keep writing and trusting the process. To welcome the questions and let go of the need for certainty, answers, and outcomes.